Its Okay to be NOT Okay!!!!
18th Feb, and I think after a year that the LeoBond has taken a sigh of relief and it is one of those Sundays where there is no Study. As a child I have always been a curious one and keen to learn but I wish we had flexible number of hours a day - not just 24 Hours :). Sometimes work does overwhelm me and I am sure you all will be able to relate with it in my last post.
Okay, so let me share with you what I meant when I said its okay to be Not Okay. One of the complex projects I was working on was getting winded up in 2022 and to be honest with you all readers, I was personally at a very low point in my life while for the world I was the strong and super strong Leobond but I was within myself fighting multiple battles and I guess loosing all of them. Time has always been a witness that my lowest points in my life have given me a new direction to think and be a positive soul while we all carry our own baggage's, isnt it?
I was still not done with my project and in Oct 2022, I wanted to pursue another masters and this was exactly when in Nov 2022 ChatGPT was introduced in our lives and by Dec and I think a topic in the world of technology which everyone on this earth had started forming an opinion. I wanted to invest my time and energy which made me learn new nuances of the data world.
I researched 7-8 colleges and went through the videos of how the learning was imparted as we were still under COVID after effects and in hybrid model. This was also a commercial investment of money but the most important was the time. Infact of all the lows at the personal front, how can I forget a memorable moment when after delivering a critical project in Amsterdam for a month, the minute I landed in India - I got a call from my boss and my mentor - I call her my Legendary Lady Amitabh Bachchan(AB) of IT. As the bell rang w/o a slightest clue I started explaining to her how I will complete a deliverable the next day and she said STOP - :). She said I wanted to congratulate you as you have been promoted to the next level and this was a back to back one for me. Have you ever seen a small kid weeping ounces of tears and suddenly smiles the minute you show a chocolate, that's the smile I had on my face, at least I literally had wings, offcourse invisible one!!
A new Exec role comes with new responsibilities and expectations and this is where my heart and brain battled each other & in this battle Leobond has always been biased to listen to her heart. So as a dialogue of Salman Khan's movies -If you watch Bollywood movies and a fan of him - A commitment once made, you dont even listen to yourself untill you finish it. Yahh, you may wonder and also call me Lady Salman Khan, I dont break my commitments atleast in my work till date. Future I dont know but atleast I assure that I will do my level best to never give up on that.
So, since we had a winner in the battle so I applied to Purse my 2nd masters in Data Science & AI and ML and my journey started exactly a year back in 2023.
Now what did this mean to the Leobond, I had no breaks - no Sats or Sundays as weekdays was completely focused on work and weekends on study's and mostly mornings used to be 5AM waking up to make up for my studies. I had 2 new roles in 2023 and both in the incubation areas and completely neck breaking in pace.
There have been almost 300 days out of 365 days that I thought, I will die out of WORK - DEATH BY WORK, I wonder if we ever had such a phrase and that I am failing every step coz - a) Why will anyone care whether you rest or you don't over the weekends as that was the choice and decision that you took and b) I have hardly have time to do anything for myself or even blink to weep and trust me these are lessons which have made me thick skin.
Like we all say time heels us and definitely the lessons we learn during this time stick to us forever. There have been times when days after days I have only wept, not slept but one thing that I know people who care for you, no matter what they will support you always and I am thankful to many, infact the list is never ending - be it work, family or friends and that's what defines the strength of LeoBond.
Sometimes people say I am overambitious, I am really not sure if I should take that as a compliment but I always set benchmarks for my own self in whatever I do. Like competing with oneself and i dont think there is any harm in that, also its not always about work in your life!!!
Let me share an interesting one with you. Since childhood - besan ke laddu are my all-time favorites but my laddus are never round. HUH!! last year on 17th Nov, I made the best ones of my live, I have baked, mastered non vegetarian cooking, hello doesnt mean Veg is nowhere, I was always good with that, so that's also an achievement for me. During my hostel days, my mom used to always make them and send them to me and I always imagined that if I ever had a family and kids, they will never be proud of me as I could never be able to make one for them but I am happy that I will not disappoint them if I had one. These little things in my life are like big achievements and medals for me, so as a housewife, as a professional, as a daughter, as a colleague all of these instances make it special for me.
Now, coming back to today's date, I was completely not okay at all but I think it was also ok sometimes. I am closing the year long journey of studies till I think of a new passion and I suggest you all to do the same and inspire to realize all your dreams, its never late ever.
Raasta mushkil hai to kya, manzil ka pata-thikana na ho to kya,
Tera junoon hi tere raste aur teri manzil ka mukammal pata hai !!!
In short sometimes to achieve something, its OKAY TO BE NOT OKAY!!!
Signing off for now
Love LeoBond
